


Kahuna Tamzarian

by Kaiko_Mikkusu



Category: Steamed Hams - Fandom, The Simpsons
Genre: Agnes is somewhere in her 80's, Armin and real Seymour are 38, Armin returns to be Armin, Based on a dream I had, Chalmers and Edna are 44, Gen, Kabiria is biologically 35 but likely actually thousands of years old, Lot of Armin-ish moments from Seymour, Multi, Skinner is having a particularly Arminish day, armenian Skinner, possibly somewhat AUish, scottish Chalmers, sorta cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiko_Mikkusu/pseuds/Kaiko_Mikkusu
Summary: Armin "Seymour Skinner" Tamzarian had enough of being Seymour Skinner. He also is'nt principal material. He is offered a choice between being the Hokage or the Kahuna. He chooses being the Kahuna.





	Kahuna Tamzarian

Armin "Seymour Skinner" Tamzarian was sitting in his principal's chair. He was always a bit of a freebird, so he had his hands tied behind his head and his feet and legs on the desk. He was very relaxed, then he got a phonecall.

???:Well, is this Springfield Elementary School?  
Armin\Seymour: Yeah, this is El Preside Skinner. Whatcha doin'?  
???:Trying to talk you into an alliance.  
Armin\Seymour: Alliance? What alliance?  
???:An alliance... with the Samurai Witches' Young Coven.  
Armin\Seymour: That's MEGAGALACTICALLY STEAMEDHAMFULLY SPACEWESOME!!! Where are you gonna be?  
???: You're gonna meet us at the old abandoned Gybray Train Station.  
Armin\Seymour: Okay!

Armin\Seymour and Gary Chalmers take a car to the old Gybray Train Station. It is somewhere in between Springfield and Shelbyville. There is a purple haired woman dressed like an hibrid of a samurai and a witch.

Gary: Greetings from Springfield Elementary. I am Superintendent Chalmers.  
Armin\Seymour: And I'm Principal Tamza... uhm Skinner.  
???: Greetings. El Preside Skinner! You're so much more handsome than I thought you were! I am Kabiria.  
Gary: Kabiria? Just Kabiria?  
Kabiria: Yeah. High Witch Kabiria of the Samurai Witches' Young Coven.  
Armin\Seymour: So... are you a real witch?  
Kabiria: Kind of. I have talents that are almost magic. The reason our school is an huge, abandoned train station hidden between the woods, is because we pretty much live here. We're half school, half cult, and half protector of the biggest macguffin in the universe.  
Armin\Seymour: I'm so in! Am I going to be an High Wizard? Also if this place is hidden and I live here does it mean I have to drop my fake "Seymour Skinner" persona? YAWOO!  
Kabiria: Yes you should go back to be your real self.  
Armin: Yes I'm fully Armin Tamzarian now.  
Kabiria: Yes but there's only one High Witch or Wizard and in this case it's me, the High Witch Kabiria. You will be either Hokage or Kahuna.  
Armin: OK now I will be... Kahuna Armin Tamzarian of the Samurai Witches' Young Coven.  
Gary: Now that you two are allied we need a new name!  
Armin: We're the Alolan Steamed Ham Coven of Springfield and the Samurai Witches!

And so began the reign of terror of:  
High Witch Kabiria and High Kahuna Armin Tamzarian of the Alolan Steamed Ham Coven of Springfield and the Samurai Witches.


End file.
